Hey! That's Disgusting! Stop It! Now It's My Turn!

Hello again.

I find myself staring at my monitor, wanting to write about something, but not quite sure what that something will be. Nothing uncommon about this. Of course, realizing it's regularity doesn't mollify the frustration.

Often times, inspiration can be found simply by examining the current state of both you and your surroundings. A modification of the old theory, "Write what you know".

Let's see...in my pajamas, crazy hair, drinking a fresh fruit smoothie for breakfast.

Really nothing inspiring about that. Especially if you were peeking in my window. Unless you consider an immediate desire to run away from a window as a form of inspiration.

Ah! Now there's an idea: peeking in windows!

I'll calmly walk up to each house on my block and peer into every uncovered window, looking for something to arouse my creativity. What could go wrong?

What could go wrong? is usually the line uttered by a dimwitted TV character right before the scene cuts to "LATER THAT EVENING", when us viewers find out exactly what went wrong. But don't worry, I won't get into any trouble with the law over this. How could I? We have people in elected office right now who are not only snooping into our living rooms, they're opening the front door, walking into our bedrooms, lifting up our women's skirts, and examining their uteri with over-sized probing devices. With deviants of that magnitude strolling our streets, how could a mild-mannered window peeper ever spark anyone's attention?

For the record, that is the first time I ever used uteri in text. Not that I have anything against used uteri, all uteri is good uteri in my book, theoretically speaking. I don't discriminate. It's just that I don't find myself writing about it all that often. So, if anybody wishes to celebrate this significant occasion with me, I'll wait while you fetch the champagne.

Why do so many people on the right want to monitor and legislate other people's sexual habits? First of all, in what context is that ever an example of "Small Government"? That aside, why does it matter to you if the neighbor you get along with out on the street is performing a slightly different dance in his or her bedroom than you are in yours?

If you found out after forty years of marriage that once a month, your parents were engaging in an act that personally revolted you, would you call your Congressman and demand that their marriage be terminated? Or force it to be declassified as a civil union?

How would you like it if, the next time you were laying on top of your bored suburban wife, someone busted down your door and prohibited YOU from having sex in the future, merely because you lacked variety and imagination? (I'm sure your wife would welcome it).

Would you feel like your civil rights were violated? Or would you say to yourself, "they are only doing it because of their strongly held beliefs, and I should abide by their decisions"?

Stupid questions, huh? Especially the last one.

Yet, here they are, the current flock of flunkies, achieving near orgasm in their daily diatribes about other people's morals. All the while they themselves tip-toe through the garden of their own fetid indiscretions.

Staunch belief in religion is often cited as the reason for their desires to stop our fun. But if they truly believed in the Bible, their ignoble crusades would be thwarted by text within the Bible itself. There's more than a few passages about the evils of judging people, throwing stones, and mere mortals trying to do God's job. But none of that information ever seems to faze them. They soldier on, insisting that soldiers should not be on each other.

Jealousy is another possibility. If I can't do it, then nobody can!

Psychological projection is another ~ they themselves have an insatiable taste for a lifestyle considered by many in their flock as aberrant, but since they don't want the rest of  world to know it, they call out others, hoping that their objections will act as a smokescreen to conceal their own behaviors.

Yeah, like that ever works.

Or maybe their actions are so strategically devious that they rise above our normal scope of awareness. What if the people complaining about morality are, like previous stated, just as "guilty", (again, in their minds only), as the people they are condemning. But, these lascivious politicos/religious leaders are sick of hiding their fun. What if they want to experience it out in the open, but without the stigma attached to it by the rest of their brethren? How could they successfully manage that tightrope act?

By forcing a vote on the issue.

Get on your ivory soapbox (not the brand name, but the color of the soapbox ~ because most of these folks are white), and scream how wrong it is. Force a bill to be written, or create a state Proposition that is brought to popular vote, and hope for it to be struck down. Hope that enough people become so outraged that the act you are supposedly against becomes legitimized and legalized. Then you may finally announce to all that you, too, are partaking in the newly accepted legal activity.

Nah.

They're just arrogant assholes who think they know what's best for the rest of civilization, regardless of what or how civilization feels about the matter, and nothing any of us say or do will change how they feel.

Okay, that's settled, but it still doesn't solve the problem of needing something to write about.

Sigh. Guess I have to go peep in a few windows.